Conditioned as a child to be stoic (which can come in handy when things are not going well, and I just need to keep walking and do what needs to be done) my inner resistance to tears means they tend to come all at once or not at all.
Even as I write this I question my stated desire to cry more quietly. Why? Another part of me wants us to be able to cry out and rend our clothing when grief takes us. Perhaps we need to howl more often and more loudly alone in our bathrooms and together in circles sitting on the earth, or gathered on the steps of our local legislature.
Perhaps sorrow unleashed would clear confusions of the mind and help us act on the wisdom of the soul.